Failure to Launch
Failure to Launch
"Failure to launch" is the informal name for a young adult who is stuck: living at home past the point they or their family expected, not working or in school, and unable to move forward. It is not a diagnosis. It usually sits on top of something else, often anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism or a more serious mental illness.
The phrase can sound like blame. It shouldn't. Most stuck young adults want more for themselves and feel a lot of shame about where they are.
What it often looks like
Sleeping late and being up most of the night, often gaming or online
Starting college or jobs and leaving after a few weeks
Avoiding phone calls, forms and appointments
Few friends outside the internet
Parents handling money, meals, laundry and scheduling
Tension at home that keeps getting worse
Why it happens
There is rarely one cause. An anxiety disorder makes every new step feel dangerous. Depression drains the energy to try. Executive functioning problems make planning and follow-through hard. Sometimes a first episode of psychosis or bipolar disorder is part of the picture. On top of that, rent is expensive, entry-level jobs are hard to find, and well-meaning parents may have taken over tasks that the young adult never got to practice.
When it may be something more
Sometimes being stuck is an early sign of a more serious condition. Pulling away from friends, odd or suspicious beliefs, hearing things others don't, or long stretches of very little sleep can point to the start of psychosis or bipolar disorder, which often first appears in the late teens and twenties. If you're seeing these, talk to a doctor or psychiatrist soon. Early treatment makes a real difference, and our team works alongside it.
How Sanare helps
Talking in an office once a week rarely gets someone unstuck. What helps is doing the hard things with support, again and again, until they get easier. That is how Sanare works.
A clinician might spend Tuesday at the young adult's home helping set up a morning routine, meet them Thursday at the community college to sign up for one class, and practice a job interview on Friday. Visits run one to five times a week with a team of at least two clinicians.
Daily structure. A sleep schedule and morning routine that actually stick.
The underlying condition. Treating anxiety with exposure and CBT, and depression with behavioral activation.
Work or school. Picking a realistic first step and following through. See vocational coaching.
Independent living. Money, cooking, laundry and appointments. See life skills coaching.
Parents. A plan for stepping back, with clear expectations everyone agrees on.
For parents
Parents often feel stuck too, caught between pushing and protecting. Our posts on parenting tips for failure to launch and failure to launch in Colorado are a good starting point.
Help for young adults in Denver
Sanare works with adults 18 and older across the Denver and Boulder metro. Contact us or call 303.476.1974 to talk about your situation.